The Magic Formula

When I started writing this blog, I knew there would be a central theme; of course, there is the walking thing, but I discovered something much more profound while doing my initial research on happiness. No matter what course I took or the book I read, there is always the same central idea, just worded differently. I get it, if they just came out and told you what the secret sauce of contentment was in the first paragraph, then there would be no need to read the rest of the book, and when I tell you what it is, I feel like you will be somewhat disappointed. It's that simple. I have shared the secret with people over the years, and they give me a blank stare or roll their eyes. I'm sure they think, well, everyone knows that. The truth is, it's absolutely that simple in theory, but not in practice. So before the big reveal, you have to promise me that you won't roll your eyes or quit reading. 

Perspective is the magic formula! It can remove stress, lighten your mood, and even make you feel fortunate in a very unfortunate situation. I told you it was easy. Easy to identify but hard to implement. I have often found it interesting that many religious people have the tendency to be uptight. I would think a strong faith should allow you to let things go and relax a little. God is in control, right? Then why anxiety and pessimistic attitude? My guess is that they genuinely don't believe. But I'm not here to judge. :) I find that believing in something higher than yourself can be a powerful force in finding peace. (keep that in mind)

I want to provide you with a simple example to illustrate my point. Let's say you are heading out the door to work. Thus far, the morning has been uneventful. You go to get in the car only to find that the battery is dead. You will be late to work. The fun part is what happens in your head. How do you interpret this situation? 

Your first response maybe...Just my luck. Why does this crap always happen to me? I can never catch a break. I'm sure I will be fired for this. How much is a battery anyway? God knows I'm low on cash. UGH.

Now assume that 30 minutes later, you see on the news that the interstate you take to work is shut down, and cars are going to be stuck at a standstill for hours. Now, are you lucky or unlucky? Did your perspective on the situation change? 

The fact is the same: your battery is dead. What made it a good or bad experience is how you interpreted it—nothing more, nothing less. Furthermore, your perception of these events belongs to you and you only. Different people will and can interpret the events in their Life different ways. The voice in your head will classify them as good or bad. You will only see what you are looking for. If you are looking for the bad in the situation, you will find it. If you are looking for good, you will find it as well. Did you see any Jeeps on your way to work today? I did, but I was looking for them; you were not. Do you need a miracle in your Life? Start looking for it. It's there. You just don't see it. 

Please don't misunderstand the point. Bad things do happen to people every day. We are human; we grieve, cry, and try to make sense of the tragedies we all will face in Life. And at that moment, it's not that we don't want to see the positive we simply can't because of the grief and pain we feel. Grief is a process, and it will take time for you to start to even look for the positive. But hopefully, you will find it with time. 

Recently, I heard of a man named Chris Downey. Chris was a successful architect who was diagnosed with a brain tumor. After the surgery, things seemed to be fine. However, over the course of the next few days, he completely lost his sight. His surgeon told him he might want to consider a new career path. Friends that were architects would say, “Oh, it's the worst thing imaginable, to be an architect and to lose your sight." 

During his rehabilitation with the San Francisco Lighthouse for the blind, Chirs was taught to navigate using his sense of feeling with the tip of a cane. He would enter buildings he had been in as a seeing person, and now he experienced them as a hearing person. He states, “I was hearing the architecture and feeling the space." Since that time, Chris has worked on architectural designs for Duke University, Microsoft, and the San Fransico Lighthouse. He has been a pioneer for some of the nation's most innovative designs related to architectural accessibility. At the end of the interview, the reporter asks Chirs if he could get his sight back, would he? His response, "There could be some logistical liberation to it. But, will it make my Life better? I don't— I don't think so."  

This was a tragic event, but in time Chris was able to connect the dots. When we reflect on the circumstances that got us to where we are today (good or bad), we can easily connect the dots. And if you can't, it may be that the points are still being created. Is there a grand plan for your Life? I like to think so. You will never see it looking forward, but if you give up on your pity party and choose to reflect with gratitude, you just may be able to connect the dots in your Life as well. 

If there is one quote that has changed my Life, it is this one by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin. "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience.” After reading that, I started to look at Life a little differently. I am a spiritual being and have always been a spiritual being. I have a soul. We all do. I am put here to experience Life to its fullest: the good and the bad. And hopefully, I will somehow make a difference to the people I encounter. Our Life is all part of the "human experience.” This view has often allowed me to rise above a situation and look at it from a different perspective. 

I know we got a little deep towards the end so let's end this conversation on a more practical level. When things happen in your Life, pay attention to the voice in your head that assigns it to the "good or bad" category. If you find it on the wrong side, try to change your perspective. Here are a few simple ideas to help you move to a more positive state of mind. 

1. Spend time with positive people

2. Limit the "what ifs."

3. Think of the bigger picture

4. Live in the present

5. Go for a walk

6. Help others

7. Tell yourself positive messages

8. Reframe your thoughts

9. Don't sweat the small stuff

10. Pray

 If you change your perspective, you will change your Life.